I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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