Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
