I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
