I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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