I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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