look no pants
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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