you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
