I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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