Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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