those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
