He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
