that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
