Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
