Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
