i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last time i carry you out of a forest
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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