I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
