Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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