I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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