she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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