No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
