Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
