im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
