i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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