I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
