I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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