Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
