Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i need some magic done to my vagina
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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