everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
