I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
