great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
