yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
