Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
