and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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