the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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