I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
