oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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