the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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