yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
