How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
