I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
