i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
