if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
