He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
