You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
