I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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