apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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