I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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