please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
