They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You can't just leave with hair like that
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
