im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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